Coaching into Nothingness
What if we did nothing? What if we took time out of our day and just did nothing. Would the world fall apart if billions of people around the world did nothing for 30 minutes a day? Probably not. In fact we would probably have a more productive world. When I think of success and nothingness, I often think of the Dalai Lama. Look at how successful he is- known around the world, respected by heads of State – and yet I be he spends a lot of time in nothingness. The fact is that nothing is a state of being that allows stillness into our mind, body and spirit. It allows the thoughts to stop, the body to relax into deep healing and the spirit to enter our hearts. If we walked through life in this state, the doing would become a lot easier and a lot more enjoyable.
Instead we have a belief, carried forward through generations that we must always be doing! We equate self-worth by how much we are doing. The question we get asked most after “how are you” is “what are you doing”. The more we get done in a day the more we feel we are worth. If I told you that my business plan is to sit and meditate I am sure that the judgments would come up immediately. If I told you how I thought the best way to market my business is to meditate and open my heart to accepting clients, you would probably roll your eyes and walk away.
Why is it that we are so resistant to being still? I look at parents these days and I listen to them tell me how busy they are taking their children to soccer practice, dance lessons, piano lessons, play dates, etc. Really? Is it not okay anymore to let children just be by themselves or with other children to use their imaginations and figure out how to play without being guided or dropped off for some kind of activity? What about sitting and reading? What about colouring? It’s ironic that the adult colouring book frenzy has taken off. In every book store there are shelves of adult colouring books. It’s a way of slowing down and meditating. Of course its the 21st century type of meditating- it still involves doing.
What kind of relationships would we have with each other if we were able to be still within ourselves? If we practice being still, it is easier to be there for others. When we learn to stop, it is easier to listen to others with full attention. How many of us are multi-tasking as we talk on the phone? Can we honestly say that we are giving our full attention to whomever we are talking to?
Most clients I see these days the number one issue we work on is slowing down and feeling. Because when we are constantly distracted by doing, it is difficult to really feel our emotions and know what is going on at a deeper level. Why did we just react by yelling at the kids to clean up? Why did we almost ram the driver that absent-mindedly cut us off? In my experience, there are usually deeper emotions at work that manifest in these outbursts. Being still and allowing our Self to get to know itself is a step in uncovering the juiciness of who we are! Once my clients realize that slowing down will help them discover themselves, the true transformations happen.
I challenge everyone to just stop. Just stop and feel your body. Feel the emotion that is coming up, the sadness, loneliness, anger, frustration, or joy! Feel it, notice it in your body and then release it. Allow your mind to find more stillness or at least slow down. Focus on your breathing or listen to a guided meditation. Sit in the trees or near the ocean. Whatever works. Just take the time for You. And start enjoying nothing.